Sites not suitable for miners

The Queso Dip is all about protecting our country’s miners from unseemly content.  If you are a miner or know one, beware these sites:

www.pickaxesgoneawry.com

www.collapsingshaft.net/video

www.atrocities2canaries.gov

www.pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosishurts.org

And if you know of any more, please add them to this list with a detailed explanation of how you even know about the sites in the first place.

The Hoarse Whisperer

Since the last post, it seems like my alien readership has tapered off. Frankly, I feel a bit depressed about this. I was envisioning myself as Jeeves to the alien world.

Well this week I lost my voice. And not in the introspective metaphorical way. I knew something up was up Monday morning when my shower singing routine featured some serious Barry Whiteness. My throat felt a little tweaked, and it didn’t help that my lessons lacked diversity and all seemed to feature me doing a lot of talking. I believe it was also a student misbehavior day, which involved a lot of vocal raising. We have got to stop scheduling those days on the calendar. By the end of the day, my voice was leaving on a jet plane and I didn’t know when it would be back again.

I woke up on Tuesday with a lot of junk in my throat and an inability to sustain audibility. I very seriously considered taking a sick day, but I felt fine otherwise and thought that if I was going to take my FIRST SICK DAY EVER IN 8 YEARS OF TEACHING (not that I’m counting or anything) it should be for something more spectacular, like an appendectomy, dengue fever, or the final episode of Days of Our Lives.

The next few days were an exercise in creative teaching methods. Things like typing lectures and directions on the screen, showing more videos than I usually do, employing the poor pathetic teacher routine, and LOTS of whisper teaching.

This last one was difficult for me, because I really find it annoying when other people lose their voices and whisper talk. It just sounds so fake–like they really could talk but are just holding back so you’ll listen to them more clearly. Well, let me tell you if you ever do want to fake it, it works! Those kids were really listening to what I said. The volume of the class was also a lot quieter because they would always respond to my whisper questions with whisper answers.

I also found that in regard to the typing of directions and lecture stuff, it worked well because I am actually a better writer than talker. Those of you who have read my writing and talked to me (especially on the phone) can probably vouch for this.

It wasn’t until today, that my voice finally came back to the point of not sounding like the Ying Yang Twins.  The ironic thing is that with my wife gone for the weekend, and no school on Monday for MLK Day, I really won’t have much use for this newly found voice over the next few days.

Hence this blog post.

Search engine term used to find my blog

WordPress has a handy feature that lets you know the words people typed to find your blog.  For my site, this usually involves things like recipes for queso dip, history of queso, etc.

Among today’s entries:

“how much is a ticket for having one head”

This leads me to believe that some poor alien from the Andromeda galaxy has apparently been Googling.  If you’re out there Blargaron X,  you get the first head free.  It’s the additional heads that will cost you.

I’m guessing this is what really led them to my site. 

The Number 68

…heart operations Dick Cheney has had?

…combined IQ of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears?

…pounds our cat weighed after we came back from Christmas vacation?

…times I had to tell some Kindergarteners to sit down while on dismissal duty today?

…servings of humble pineapple I’ve had to eat since Hawaii got trounced in the Sugar Bowl?

…age I felt after playing just a few games of pick-up basketball?

…days since I last posted on the Queso Dip?

…temperature reached in Rochester, NY. I found that truth rather convenient. Today’s queso was sufficiently caliente!