Travel Ladies (Put a Bra on…Them)

Dear Hosts of Travel Videos,

In your attempts at wannabe Samantha Brown-itude, will you please imitate her wholeheartedly and put a bra on? I really want my 6th graders to learn all about the wonders of China, but I’m afraid they will only key in on a couple of your points.

Pointedly,

Mister Kazizzle

Asian Eyes

A parody of “Angel Eyes” by Ace of Base

Verse 1

I know she wasn’t the first one

To make fun of the eyes of my peeps

But when I clicked on this pic

My tiny creased eyes had to weep

Chorus

Asian eyes you made Asian eyes

My my Miley that was rather nasty

Asian eyes hope you’re satisfied

At reversing blepharoplasty

But I can barely see

The things I want to see

(sigh) Make a peace sign

Verse 2

I think my eyes are still pretty

But I’m hoping you could spare a lid

More slitty than Hello Kitty

Or “wax on” dude from Karate Kid

Repeat Chorus

Asian eyes

Just look awake for the picture, hmm

Chorus 2

Asian eyes I’ve got Asian eyes

And I still don’t think Miley’s recanted

Asian eyes hope she’s satisfied

But my view of her is rather slanted

And I can barely see

The things I really want to see

Like Iron Chef!

Renewed?

Today, I thought I was going to attend a teacher in-service meeting.  Instead, I got to participate in a Mid-Winter Professional Renewal.  These superintendents have got to stop watching Oprah.

And if you’re going to call it that, you must provide at least one, but preferably three of the following:

a.  A Drum Circle 

b.  Group Facial by Candlelight

c.  Enya-Only Yoga Session

Hopefully our next meeting, the Summer Soul-stice of Instructional Inspiration, will live up to its namesake.

My Miley Cyrus Impersonation

Me just being Miley.

Kids These Days

Really bad musical taste (see post above) and annoying text talk aside, the kids of today really do some awesome things once in awhile.  An example would be this student-driven project started at my school.  

If you are interested in finding out more about the cause, you can go here.  

Or you can just go there and marvel at how Anderson Cooper went from hosting The Mole to getting some time on 60 Minutes.

P.S.–The students did a great job on their presentation, and up to this point our school has raised enough money to save about 120 lives.  In fact, my students (without any help from me) organized a bake sale last Friday that raised nearly $300.

Unsolved Mystery

It happened again this morning.  Every time I shave in the shower, I lather up my face and shortly thereafter, I get a tingling sensation near my eye.  I am careful to wash off my hand.  After rubbing my eye, WITHOUT FAIL, I come away with shaving cream on my hand.  I didn’t notice this problem until the shower mirror we had gave up its will to suction.

The thing that doesn’t make sense to me, is that I don’t put shaving cream in my eyes or above my eyes.  Before going to the eye, my hand is completely washed (at first I didn’t check the back of my hand, but now I do).  So from whence doth this shaving cream come?  Any ideas on this one people?

So far the best theory I have come up with is that my eye actually produces shaving cream in the morning.  Shaving cream with an uncanny resemblance to Barbasol.

Steelers/Refs now 2-0 vs. Western Bird Teams

The Steelers/Refs did it again, jobbing the Cardinals this time. I officially dub this team the Stealers. This wasn’t quite as egregious as the Stealers vs. Seahawks game a few years back (although I thought they might call an unneccessary roughness penalty on Kurt Warner just for old times’ sake). However, it really brought back some 2006 flashbacks.

After the game, I was gratified to see this article.

As a 49ers fan, I could be a bit bitter that my team’s record for Super Bowl wins has been eclipsed. However, I take solace in the fact that there haven’t been 6 Steeler victories. Rather the count remains 4 for the Steelers and 2 for the Stealers.