48/52: A & E Do Disney

December 25, 2014

So yesterday, our family went to Disneyland. The four of us, my parents, my brother, his wife, and my nephew. We had a great time. There were long lines and lots of people, but I found myself relatively unfazed by the crushing mass of humanity. The kids hung in there far better than expected (though Elliot had his moments). People were pleasant. I’m finding this sentence hard to type, but the place seemed magical. It’s like there was some weird magnetic field there that rendered my cynicism useless. But you don’t want to hear about my thoughts. You would much rather hear from my kids. These thoughts were actually taken from a follow-up session with Alice. Elliot’s thoughts portray a fair approximation of a 1-year-old brain.

Meeting Belle:

A. She was my favorite. I loved her yellow dress. And she had light skin like Mommy and me.

E. I photobombed my sister. I was in Beast Mode.

Pinocchio Ride:

A. It was scary with the pirate and the loud voices.

E. Ditto on the creepy.


A. I had fun going up so high, but the seatbelt wasn’t tight enough. That makes sense for me!

E. I think it was fun to fly, but the line was long, and my brain is too small to understand lines.

The Teacups:

A. That was my favorite ride. You got to spin so fast and go in all directions!

E. It was fun to watch. I looked like an 80-year-old grumpy man, or a frog/boy hybrid, but inside I was smiling.

It’s a Small World:

A. That was my favorite. I loved going on the boat and seeing the dancing dolls.

B. The song is still going through my head. I liked being out of the sun. “It’s a small world after all” becomes less necessary as a message because of the Internet and globalization. Someone should refresh Alice on what “favorite” means.

The Food:

A. I liked the crust of the pizza, but the cheese wasn’t very good. I had popcorn, cotton candy, and a popsicle. The popsicle was my favorite.

E. My mac and cheese cup cost $4 and it was the size of a thimble. I wanted to gnaw on a giant turkey leg.

Minnie Mouse’s House:

A. I liked the teacups. I couldn’t understand what Minnie said.

E. I had to stay outside and ride around in a stroller. I so cranky, you don’t even know.

The Magic Show:

A. My favorite part was when the girls came out with parasols.

E. This was the most mesmerizing thing I have ever seen in my entire life! I clapped. I pointed. I smiled and laughed. I did not cry. I think I saw my future career flash before my eyes. Plus, I would totally fit into their troupe of ethnically-diverse dancers.

The Monorail:

A. It was fun, but I wish it could have lasted for two hours.

E. Meh.

The Riverboat:

A. I didn’t like all the loud noises, but I liked the imaginary voice and the Indian.

B. I was sitting in a stroller parking lot with Jiji while everyone went on. What is she talking about with the Indian? Doesn’t she mean Native American? That Good Will Hunting joke about dots not feathers is not exactly PC, but it is certainly effective.

The Night Parade:

A. It was so funny when Cinderella’s stepsisters came out! I waved at Santa Claus.

B. How did some kids have glowing balloons? I wanted one. Are my parents defective since they didn’t get me one?

For those who are curious, I pulled a Space Mountain and chickened out again! Disneyland opened up earlier than I thought, so I ended up having to wake Alice up. She was very cranky and wasn’t buying the ambiguity of going to some fun unknown place. The prospect of hearing Alice’s “now is the winter of my discontent” speech for the hour plus trip just didn’t seem tenable.

To be honest, her initial reaction wasn’t the greatest. She was still upset that I woke her up, and I think a little skeptical over what I was telling her. But when she got there, it was completely worth it. There’s something spiritual about getting to see life through the eyes of a five-year-old (and through a one-year-old when we watched that Mickey Mouse Magic Show). I could have made fun of everything I saw, focused on the rampant commercialism, muttered about the unrealistic ideals of beauty and body image Disney passes on to women, but that’s not what my kids were doing. They were basking in a modern-day rite of passage. And since I didn’t want to judge them. I chose not to judge others.

When it was time to go, I found myself thinking strange thoughts. Why didn’t we get a two-day pass? When will we do this again? Why do I suddenly have no regard for my checking account? Maybe I bought the brainwashing hook, line, and sinker. Maybe my brain is not mentally capable of fighting off the marketing experts at Disney who overstimulated my senses so I felt a particular way. Oh well. For a day, I’ll happily gobble down that delusion, as if it were a perfectly charred turkey leg.


4 Responses to “48/52: A & E Do Disney”

  1. George Says:

    Old Walt really had something there, eh! Enjoyed your retrospective from the kiddos perspective.

    • teachiro Says:

      He really did. Wonder if he had any clue that it would become the present-day organism of today. He created a monster, but a Monsters Inc. kind of monster. Glad you enjoyed the recap.

  2. Mom Says:

    It really was a magical day! Enjoyed reading Alice’s perspective and Elliot’s as seen thru his daddy’s.

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