52/52: Failure Realized

January 1, 2015

So according to the clock, I have failed in at least four U.S. time zones to complete my goal of 52 blog posts in a year. For the kama’aina in Hawaii, I am still on track. I suppose it’s appropriate that I didn’t quite reach my goal.

In my initial post, I talked about failure as my greatest fear. I posted this, because I believed a public proclamation of my goal would be the motivation needed to achieve my goal and avoid public failure at all costs.

However, along the way, something happened. I became more comfortable with failure. It’s not that I’m good at accepting it yet. I still get embarrassed. I don’t handle it graciously. Sometimes I regurgitate it and beat myself with it. However, I let it go more easily. I see the benefit of it. I am more willing to admit it and learn from it.

That’s one of the things that I’ve learned from this experience—that failure isn’t so scary. However, I feel this blog was educational in other ways as well:

  1. Sometimes, a little artificial nudge is all you need. Writing 52 blog posts in a year is a pretty random goal, but there’s no way I would have come close without setting this goal for myself. I think it is important to find ways to create effective artifices to motivate action.
  2. I still have trouble being vulnerable. I think this is a major turn-off for people when they meet me because I’m guarded and that indicates a lack of trust. In my writing, it’s easier to be vulnerable. I did that on some posts, but not the majority.
  3. I really enjoy the communities that I’m a part of. My town. My church. My family. My wife and kids. I’m not a big joiner since I have a problem committing deeply to groups, but I feel very blessed to be a part of the few groups I am a part of.
  4. It’s so easy to forget memorable moments. Looking back at this blog, I see memories that would be completely lost if they hadn’t been written down here. I probably wouldn’t have remembered the agony and ecstasy of my trip to the Lawrence Hall of Science. I might have forgotten some of my son’s earliest words. I might have blocked out my daughter’s racist comments. I’m so glad this yearly journey has allowed me to preserve just a few of them.
  5. Writing is such a natural high. I knew this before, but this experience just added rebar to what was already concrete. There are few activities I enjoy more (though there are a few). This is such blatant navel-gazing, but posts that I especially enjoyed writing for different reasons were post numbers 43, 37, 30, 18, 15, 10, and 2. I also enjoyed all the video posts, but the focus was more on the adorable kiddos and less on the writing, which was definitely the right focus.

Who knows what 2015 will hold. I have a few ideas, some that are silly and others that are particularly hard to share. I still owe a post or two about a trip to Hawaii that we took last summer.

Since I’m cooler with failure, you may not hear from me as much. Not that there are many people even reading this, so maybe I just said that to sound important. Regardless, of how many people came along, I think this was a rewarding and worthwhile journey.

But now it is time to close out this blog before I fail in yet another time zone.

Aloha.

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4 Responses to “52/52: Failure Realized”

  1. Debbie Says:

    These 52 posts were definitely a gift!

  2. Mom Says:

    I agree with Debbie. I’ve enjoyed reading each and every one. Please keep on writing.


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